Monday, July 14, 2008

Damn it, you mean you WON'T suck my dirty jock clean???

I was in Leather Man yesterday, with my friend D buying butt plugs, and was given a little list of "hanky codes" by one of the salesmen, when he noticed our curiosity over their vast bandana selection. This only increased my own befuddlement, as the list is so particular, especially in regards to the impossibly subtle shades of color it refers to. Do YOU know the difference between robin's egg blue and light blue? Me neither!!! Maybe I'm not as gay as I thought! What if you are color blind? Does that mean that you could mistake a fist fucker for a rent boy? How embarrassing! It's dark inside those clubs! What if you mistake mauve for magenta? You think you're going to get a good pit-sucking, and you end up with a navel-licker. What gives?

If anyone can explain to me why it would be important to signify that you smoke cigars, do tell. I am hoping it is a clever euphemism for a sex act I've never heard of, but I doubt it.



COLOR WORN ON LEFT WORN ON RIGHT
BLACK heavy SM top heavy SM bottom
GREY bondage top fit to be tied!
BLUE, Light wants head cocksucker
BLUE, Robin's Egg 69er anything but 69ing
BLUE, Medium cop copsucker
BLUE, Navy fucker (top) fuckee (bottom)
BLUE, Airforce pilot/flight attendant likes flyboys
BLUE, Light w/WHITE Stripe sailor lookin' for salty seamen
BLUE, Teal cock & ball torturer cock & ball torturee
RED fist fucker fist fuckee
MAROON cuts bleeds
RED, Dark 2-handed fister 2-handed fistee
PINK, Light dildo fucker dildo fuckee
PINK, Dark tit torturer tit torturee
MAUVE into navel worshippers has a navel fetish
MAGENTA suck my pits armpit freak
PURPLE piercer piercee
LAVENDER likes drag queens drag queen
YELLOW pisser/WS piss freak
YELLOW, Pale spits drool crazy
MUSTARD hung 8"+ wants 8"+
GOLD two looking for one one looking for two
ORANGE anything anytime nothing now (just cruising)
APRICOT two tons o' fun chubby chaser
CORAL suck my toes shrimper (sucks toes)
RUST a cowboy a cowboy's horse
FUSCHIA spanker spankee
GREEN, Kelly hustler (for rent) john (looking to buy)
GREEN, Hunter daddy orphan boy looking for daddy
OLIVE DRAB military top military bottom
GREEN, Lime dines off tricks (food) dinner plate (will buy dinner)
BEIGE rimmer rimmee
BROWN scat top scat bottom
BROWN LACE uncut likes uncut
BROWN SATIN cut likes cut
CHARCOAL latex fetish top latex fetish bottom
GREY FLANNEL owns a suit likes men in suits
WHITE beat my meat (J/O) I'll do us both (J/O)
HOLSTEIN milker milkee
CREAM cums in condoms sucks cum out of condoms
BLACK w/WHITE Check safe sex top safe sex bottom
RED w/WHITE Stripe shaver shavee
RED w/BLACK Stripe furry bear likes bears
WHITE LACE likes white bottoms likes white tops
BLACK w/WHITE Stripe likes black bottoms likes black tops
BROWN w/WHITE Stripe likes latino bottoms likes latino tops
YELLOW w/WHITE Stripe likes asian bottoms likes asian tops
BLUE, Light w/WHITE Dots likes white suckers likes to suck whites
BLUE, Light w/BLACK Dots likes black suckers likes to suck blacks
BLUE, Light w/BROWN Dots likes latino suckers likes to suck latinos
BLUE, Light w/YELLOW Dots likes asian suckers likes to suck asians
RED/WHITE GINGHAM park sex top park sex bottom
BROWN CORDUROY headmaster student
PAISLEY wears boxer shorts likes boxer shorts
FUR bestialist top bestialist bottom
GOLD LAME likes muscleboy bottoms likes muscleboy tops
SILVER LAME starfucker celebrity
BLACK VELVET has/takes videos will perform for the camera
WHITE VELVET voyeur (likes to watch) will put on a show
LEOPARD has tattoos likes tattoos
TAN smokes cigars likes cigars
TEDDY BEAR cuddler cuddlee
KEWPIE DOLL chicken (under-aged) chicken hawk (likes young adolescents)
DIRTY JOCKSTRAP wears a dirty jock sucks dirty jocks clean
DOILY tearoom top (pours) tearoom bottom (drinks)
MOSQUITO NETTING outdoor sex top outdoor sex bottom
ZIPLOC BAG has drugs looking for drugs
COCKTAIL NAPKIN bartender bar groupie
KLEENEX stinks sniffs
KEYS IN FRONT has a car looking for a ride
KEYS IN BACK has a home needs a place to stay
HOUNDSTOOTH likes to nibble willing to be bitten
UNION JACK skinhead top skinhead bottom
CALICO new in town tourists welcome
TERRYCLOTH bathhouse top bathhouse bottom
WHITE w/MULTICOLOR Dots hosting an orgy looking for an orgy

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