A few days ago, I received an email from some wannabe television drone for some show they are working on for that shitty network, the CW. This is the email correspondence between the drone and me. I will be updating this post as the emails progress (or deteriorate). Enjoy!!
FROM CW:
Good Afternoon,
I saw your profile on Eros-NY.com and I thought that you might be interested in the below opportunity.
The CW’s new docu-series, “Secrets,” is developing a new docu-reality series about young productive and high achieving women. But hidden beneath all the success are issues that are being kept secret.
Do you have a secret addiction or obsession that’s forcing you to live a double life? We want to know your stories.
We are looking to cast women between the ages of 18 and 30 who have a very active sex life. The story will be told from your perspective, your words, your life.
If you’d like to participate in this documentary series please visit our casting website at http://cwsecrets.com/application.html and please mention that H referred you so that we can prioritize your application
Thanks! And I hope to hear from you soon!
***All applications and inquiries are confidential.
~ H (I am leaving their name confidential for obvious reasons)
FROM ME:
Hi H,
I appreciate the offer, but am not secretive or ashamed of what I do for a living.
Good luck finding subjects.
Sincerely,
Veronica
FROM CW CASTING:
Hi Veronica,
Thank you for getting back to me - If you are willing to share your story we would love to hear about it - please check out our casting website at www.cwsecrets.com and take a look at the producing team that you would work with if you are cast for this production as have over 20 years of tv production experience. If you have any further questions, please feel free to email us at casting@cwsecrets.com
Again, thank you for your response, and I look forward to possibly hearing from you again!
H
FROM ME:
Again, as I told you, I do not keep my "alternative lifestyle" a secret from anyone, so would not be a good fit for your exploitative show.
In the future, it might behoove you to read people's emails before sending a (grammatically incorrect) response. You might even get thoughtful, intelligent people to audition for you! Although, that's not really what you're looking for, is it?
Regards,
Veronica
*** I mean, seriously. Women between the ages of 18 and 30 with a "very active sex life"? You mean motherfucking prostitutes? Sex-addicted women? Dominatrices? Forgive me if I'm wrong (I'm not) but most prostitutes don't consider their work part of their "sex life". Neither do most dominatrices. It's kinda pathetic if you do, actually. Automatically, also, I'm supposed be hiding what I do? How is that? Eh, I shouldn't be surprised that a casting gopher has no idea what they're looking for or how to approach people. It is television, afterall. ***
*** I mean, seriously. Women between the ages of 18 and 30 with a "very active sex life"? You mean motherfucking prostitutes? Sex-addicted women? Dominatrices? Forgive me if I'm wrong (I'm not) but most prostitutes don't consider their work part of their "sex life". Neither do most dominatrices. It's kinda pathetic if you do, actually. Automatically, also, I'm supposed be hiding what I do? How is that? Eh, I shouldn't be surprised that a casting gopher has no idea what they're looking for or how to approach people. It is television, afterall. ***