Celebrity Asses I Want To Bang, And Why...

* Robert Pattinson-  For saying he's allergic to vaginas, and also to bang that annoying smirk off his face. Let's just say that I'd suddenly "be out" of lube.  Whoopsie!

* Robert Downey Jr.- Oh, you know he wants it. I'd whip the big daddy out for him.  "What, Robbie? The horse dick-sized cock isn't enough??  You want me to slap on the latex opera glove and Astroglide my fist?"  He seems like a slut who likes a challenge.

* Johnny Depp- He also wants it, I mean, just look at him! But he'll have to suck it first.  And prance around in a neglige and high heels.  Oh, I want to pull that greasy head of hair, and make him watch me in the mirror.

Oh, excuse me, am I being crass?  Wait, two more...

* Justin Timberlake-  I would gag him with another cock first, preferably a real one, then I'd make him hum, "SexyBack", while tears stream down his face.  

* Jennifer Lopez- In terms of asses, also a no-brainer.  I would take a long, hard look at it, slap it until it was pink, and spit in the crack.  Marc Antony would be tied to a chair.  Blindfolded.  Wearing really painful nipple clamps.  Screeching while she's mewling.  Of course, I would give it to her slow and lovingly at first, and then I would remember what horrible fucking music she makes and make her take it, like the spoiled, over-hyped hack that she is.


Phew!  Does that sound like I need someone to hate-fuck?   Nah...




xoxo.