I do not want women in my porn EXCEPT...

When it's sixties lesbian blue ball-creating porn.  I don't know what it is about these women.  Maybe it's the fuzzy little bushes, maybe it's the believability of their coquettishness.  Maybe it's the tease of it all.  Or the lingerie.  Or the waiting.   Christ, you're waiting so long that sometimes it seems like the revelation of her stockings will send you over the edge.  I found myself yelling at the screen, "Please show me your pussy!  God, please!" 

I really tried to watch recent lesbian porn.  I tried my damnedest.  But Jesus, do they all need to penetrate eachother with their long nails?? Who thinks that's hot??   I mean long fingernails in your pussy?  That's painful, not erotic!  I can't help but think that one of them is going to fall off and get stuck- ew!  Imagine (if you're a guy) getting a long-nailed finger in your ass??  Hell-to-the-no is the correct answer.  Also, fuckin hell, could they fake having an orgasm any worse?  Could they look any more bored?  And they just fuck for so.  Damned.  Long.  Really?  You're really having a 45 minute orgasm?  Please.  I don't mean to disparage these women.  They would not be porn stars if there was not a very appreciative and enthusiastic audience for them.  It just does not appeal to me.


Sixties lesbian porn may not be in color, but it is a feast.  They paw innocently at each other, coyly, adorably, and, at least in the movies I have seen, seem engaged.  A part of me really believes that these girls were just sexually curious free-loving go-go hippies, on the loose in the world and going wild!  They never put their fingers inside each other, and they never bury their faces in each other's pussies, but I like it that way.  It kind of reminds me of my first teenaged, confused lesbian pawings.  Not being sure exactly what to do to the other girl, just being sure that her flesh was against yours, and it was soft and warm, and exciting.

Something Weird Video is an awesome resource for vintage porn, and pretty much anything else that is from the 60's, cultish, and made of celluloid.  I've put a link to trailers for two of the movies I have for you to enjoy.  Tell me what you think: 

Trailer for Monique, My Love and Babette


xoxo.

Gee, I'm really sorry for those of you who keep checking back here to see if there are any updates on how much I masturbate, or the latest hot session that just got me so wet and worked up.  Well, I'm not really sorry, because you should know by now that I don't give a shit about titillating you.  There are plenty of other Dommes willing to do that, who do it much better than I.

On that note, I want to talk about the most non-titillating thing ever, which is the moral ambiguity of war, specifically, the Vietnam War.  I know this is sort of a strange topic of conversation (if your dick wasn't soft already, it should be now) 

Veronica Unplugged

I haven't written in awhile, because chiefly, I don't like to ramble on for the sake of rambling, or else just write so that you might have something to read.  However, I did want to offer an explanation, as I am getting barraged with emails about why I have been neglecting my favorite rant-a-go-go.
(Not sure whether anyone else gets this feeling, but sometimes I can't sit in front of a pixelated rectangle and concentrate.  It makes me feel like I'm missing Life.  In fact, I want to throw it out the window much of the time.  I mean, the weather has been fantastic!) 

Rest assured I will be back in proper form in a few days...


xoxo.

Brace Yourselves...

This picture was taken a few months ago by my friend Josh, who I think is a pretty damned fucking good photographer.  It's definitely not a pretty picture, and because of that, I have been a bit apprehensive about posting it, even though I think it is a wonderful picture. 

Celebrity Asses I Want To Bang, And Why...

* Robert Pattinson-  For saying he's allergic to vaginas, and also to bang that annoying smirk off his face. Let's just say that I'd suddenly "be out" of lube.  Whoopsie!

* Robert Downey Jr.- Oh, you know he wants it. I'd whip the big daddy out for him.  "What, Robbie? The horse dick-sized cock isn't enough??  You want me to slap on the latex opera glove and Astroglide my fist?"  He seems like a slut who likes a challenge.

* Johnny Depp- He also wants it, I mean, just look at him! But he'll have to suck it first.  And prance around in a neglige and high heels.  Oh, I want to pull that greasy head of hair, and make him watch me in the mirror.

Oh, excuse me, am I being crass?  Wait, two more...

* Justin Timberlake-  I would gag him with another cock first, preferably a real one, then I'd make him hum, "SexyBack", while tears stream down his face.  

* Jennifer Lopez- In terms of asses, also a no-brainer.  I would take a long, hard look at it, slap it until it was pink, and spit in the crack.  Marc Antony would be tied to a chair.  Blindfolded.  Wearing really painful nipple clamps.  Screeching while she's mewling.  Of course, I would give it to her slow and lovingly at first, and then I would remember what horrible fucking music she makes and make her take it, like the spoiled, over-hyped hack that she is.


Phew!  Does that sound like I need someone to hate-fuck?   Nah...




xoxo.

Playgrounds, locker rooms, and other "real" play spaces...

I was recently talking to a sub about schoolyard bully scenes, which set me off on a tangent about how intensely fun it would be to do a session on an actual playground (abandoned, of course).

I imagined me and a group of my friends kicking dirt at him, pushing him backwards down a kiddie slide, pushing him on a swing so that he found himself floundering high in the air (he is afraid of heights), and making him hang onto the monkey bars while I pulled his pants down. I would make him hold on until he fell, and kick him in the balls for failing. Ah! So many possibilities! I would tie him to a wall and throw a dodge ball at him! Put Icy/Hot in his jockstrap! 

Has anyone else had these fantasies, or else used a non-conventional (yet, very typical in the role play sense) environment for play? Such as: churches, locker rooms, prison (hey, it could happen), the office, a lecture hall, etc?  I'm talking play, not just sex. 

Belts and Butterflies...

I'm testing for my white belt on Wednesday, so am a little nervous.  According to my classmates, you exercise until you collapse.  Then you get up, and exercise more.