I was devastated yesterday in karate, when one of my teachers told me that "Kia!" actually means, "Yell!". He was like, "You can't yell 'yell' when you go to competition, the judges will laugh at you." So I said, "But I like yelling Kia!"
"You really shouldn't do it," he looked at me.
"But, won't some of them find it ironically hilarious?"
"Nomatter how good your kata is, they will think you don't know what you're saying."
"So then... what should I say?" I said.
"Try to make it more gutteral, from your diaphragm. Like, Soueoueouw!" It was like a constipated Conan the Barbarian.
"Soueooaaaioow! That does not sound right!" (I commence all manner of vowels jammed together to make my own scary noise while flexing my muscles in the mirror, to no avail.)
Funny, I don't usually have much trouble finding expletives.
xoxo.
3 comments:
You do karate?!?! i miss it soooo much, You just keep getting more and more interesting.
Still this is funny and i can see it now
My own martial art styling involves screaming like a twelve year old girl while running away. For further effectivness I wave my hands about in the air, and wet myself.
Mad skills such as these are difficult to master.
There are those who claim that yelling "penis" in a falsetto voice while giggling maniacally will strike the fear of God into the heart of any bandit or ruffian who would dare walk the streets of our fair city. This knowledge has been promulgated by ememinent fighting men like William Ewart Fairbairn, inventor of the Fairbairn Sykes fighting knife, as well as several members of the United States Marine Corps. It must be admitted that yelling "penis" is a bit odd, but when you start giggling like a little girl the intimidation which is felt is immediatly evident.
Keep in mind though that willfully intimidating a person is classed as a misdemeanor.
Pat (one of your anonymice)
in the martial art I trained in our generic Kia was "ous" a guttural, explosive sound. A couple of my team mates said something like "Tzaa"
when I fenced sabre we used a sound like "oopPAA"
I'll have to do them live for you next time I'm in town ;)
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