Thursday, May 24, 2012


Monday, May 7, 2012


Get ready to put your big boy pants on, as we will be inducting MISTRESS SERVALAN into the VIOLENT FEMS Hall of Fame on Sunday, May 27th 7pm at BillyMark’s West! This jet-setting Australian beauty only graces us with her presence once every few years, so we are ecstatic to celebrate her arrival by leaving a bevy of bruised and broken boys in her wake!

A bit of background on our guest of honor:

Known by the authorities variously as The Duchess, aka The Trainer, aka The Flossie Aussie, she is the great-granddaughter of a peer banished to the colonies for unmentionable reasons. Amongst her various talents, Duchess learned to control large animals as a child on her family property... she also rode horses.

In recent years she has has travelled extensively sometimes just one step ahead of the authorities - sailing the world by private yacht leaving a trail of well-trained and well marked creatures in every port. Interpol estimates she may be planning to infiltrate the United States where she has been linked to the well known and nefarious Violent Fems gang...

More information can be found here, on her website (although for shame if you have not already visited it many times over...):(Visit Mistress Servalan's website)

Oh, the nefariousness we will share! Oh the horrors that the subs of New York will endure! Oh, what a treat for everyone involved!


A note on how it goes down:

We consider this party to be far far removed from the run-of-the-mill fetish party in the sense that it is more a theater in the round. We dress up, we have certain people on whom we stage “attacks” (the attackees), we use gang implements, mostly, rather than whips and floggers, and we’re also friendly. You will not come to the party and stand around being bored waiting for someone to pay attention to you. If you are patient and don’t get in our way, we eventually say hello to everyone. You just have to be patient and respectful. Should I state that one more time? Patient and respectful, thanks!

There are two tiers, as you well know: $10 for observers, and $50 for ATTACKEES Don’t know what an attackee is, but are interested? Email me at BillyMark's West is located on 29th St and 9th Ave in NYC.

**FYI, the party starts promptly and ends at 11pm, so if you show up at 10pm, you might miss the hot action! If you come before 7pm, you will be thrown out, and not in a good way.**



Da Kingpin

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Submissive Men vs. Drag Queens


A quote from Andy Warhol:

"Drag queens are living testimony to the way women used to want to be, the way some people still want them to be, and the way some women still actually want to be.  Drags are ambulatory archives of ideal moviestar womanhood.  They perform a documentary service, usually consecrating their lives to keeping the glittering alternative alive and available for not-too-close inspection. ... I'm fascinated by boys who spend their lives trying to be complete girls, because they have to work so hard -- doubletime -- getting rid of all the tell-tale male signs and drawing in all the female signs.  I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, I'm not saying it's a good idea, I'm not saying it's not self-defeating and self-destructive, and I'm not saying it's not possibly the single most absurd thing a man can do with his life.  What I'm saying is, it is very hard work.  You can't take that away from them.  It's hard work to look like the complete opposite of what nature made you and then to be an imitation woman of what was only a fantasy woman in the first place.  When they took the movie stars and stuck them in the kitchen, they weren't stars any more -- they were just like you and me.  Drag queens are reminders that some stars still aren't just like you and me."   

Warhol was a condescending fucking asshole, but he had a point (not about the self-defeating, self-destructive part).  Drag queens were and are stewards of the female archetype.  As are Dominatrices, which is why submissive men are drawn to us.  Look at almost any Dominatrice's website:  the nurse, the schoolteacher, the femme fatale, the equestrian.  The list goes on.  Drag queens express femininity in much the same way.  Their focus is more on hollywood glamour for the most part, but the notion of playing a character remains.

Something really funny about straight men is that they get really uncomfortable around drag queens.  You might be thinking to yourself, "Not me! All my best friends are drag queens!"  To which I say, calm down, Princess.  I'm not trying to attack anyone.  It's just an interesting phenomenon-- which I was reminded of at a friend's brunch a few weeks ago.  We had RuPaul's Drag Race playing in the background, and were commenting and screeching at it like any normal people would do :), when one submissive man (who until then I had thought was very open-minded-- and trust me, he should be) was totally flummoxed.  He balked.  He couldn't believe that they were embarrassing themselves like this...  blah blah blah.  I tried to explain how important I think drag culture is, but discovered he could not understand.  Or didn't want to... Well, shit, man.  That's so fucking lame.  And so fucking banal.  Oh really?  You're a straight white dude who doesn't want to understand where a stigmatized group of people are coming from?  Really?  Surprise.  But it's especially disheartening to me coming from a submissive guy, because I expect them to be smarter and more enlightened than the average Joe.  By virtue of being stigmatized!!  I see this discomfort over and over again at every drag performance I attend.  The drag queens must see it too, or else they wouldn't take the men up on stage to perform simulated sex acts.  The men with their girlfriends immediately seem out of their element.  And I don't think it's just because they know they're going to get made fun of.  They're going to be prey.  Perhaps it's the first time they feel sexually vulnerable.  I think most women have the experience of being around large groups of men and know they are being evaluated for their potential sexual whathaveyou.  Men come to drag shows having never had this experience and their anxiety is palpable.  They don’t know how to handle it.  It's funny to see, actually.

But it also pisses me off.  I'm sure there are a shit ton of cisgender female Dommes who are weirded out by drag queens.  I don't mean to imply this is purely a sub or purely a guy thing.  However, I don't think we realize how much we resemble drag culture not only in terms of powerful feminine archetypes, but also in terms of stigmatization re: being seen as scary or fucked up, or essentially leper-like untouchables.  There is a cultural idea that there is something psychologically “gone wrong” with kinky people, which we all know is simply not true.  Or more precisely, it’s an oversimplification of a world where fear or the threat of fear plays a strong role.  Drag culture is no different in these ways.  Gender fucking is scary to people.  Even Warhol saw it as pathological.  (He was one to talk!)

So this fear or rejection of people who fuck with gender is similar to a fear many express toward those with alternative sexualities.  Or as I like to call us- sexuality fuckers.  Until I think of something with fewer syllables...  Fuck fuckers would be funny, but alas, a bit redundant.

Not familiar with drag culture?  Watch the definitive documentary for free, here (it’s a little over an hour, and incredibly fascinating):

Paris Is Burning
There was an error in this gadget