Sunday, September 28, 2008

Buncha bums!!!

Okay, not ONLY did the Mets lose their chance at the postseason, but they ALSO lost the very last game there was to ever be played at Shea Stadium. Now, I know that sports don't matter, and I know that they are a distraction from real issues, and I also know that whether the Mets win or lose has no bearing on my personal reality. It's all bullshit, and I know that.

BUT WHY DID JERRY MANUEL TAKE JOSE FELICIANO OUT AFTER HE STRUCK SOMEBODY OUT????!!!! Why can't we manage our bullpen effectively EVER??! Of course it's not just the fault of the bullpen, because no one seemed to be able to hit the ball tonight either, maybe because they already felt defeated and were wondering, "what's the point?" or maybe they played their hardest, but could not get a leg up. It seems to me, that if you are playing the last game in your stadium before it's going to get torn down, that you should put all your effort and focus on winning that game. Everyone was counting on them to at least go out with a bang, but perhaps the pressure was too much. It does not, however, surprise me, as the Mets have a long history of defeat- when I was a kid we had season tickets, and they never managed to win a single game I went to.

Ahhh... speaking of defeat, I have decided to make my blog public again after much deliberation around the possibility of arrest, considering the recent legal climate. I have been advised that certain things I say may be used against me in the event that I am "busted". I am not sure what I would be "busted" for, as I do not provide illegal services. However, just so everyone knows, under NY law, the definition of "sexual conduct" is ambiguous, and can be used to describe many BDSM activities, including, but not exclusive to, CBT and dildo play. If the phrase is interpreted very loosely, it could also be determined to include things as seemingly innocuous as foot worship and spanking. That is why everyone is scared. Not so much because people make a living from performing illegal acts, quite the contrary, most people I know, including myself, do not consider BDSM to be questionable in that way, however, it's this ambiguity of the law that has everyone shitting a brick...


So, we're all trapped. Too scared to do anything, but too poor to sit on our asses and wait until the whole thing blows over. IF it blows over, because no one knows what the purpose of the busts are- other than to continually marginalize and stigmatize a community that has little respect for itself, let alone the audacity to seek it from other people.

Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Just as long as you're aware that Big Brother Is Watching You, but he hasn't taken your First Amendment rights away. Yet.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Can't We All Just Be Friends?

Okay, can't we all just sit down, gather around in a circle and hold hands? Obviously, sometimes, relationships between Dommes and clients can be uneasy. Especially with the legal climate as it is in NY- if you are courting a new Domme, her first thought is going to be, "Is this person a cop?". We may ask you a bunch of questions, and even for references. Please understand that it is only to protect ourselves. But, beyond that, as Domme/client relationships develop over time, there may be broken hearts, disappointed expectations, and a general derision toward the whole interaction.

That said, I would just like to say that clients are people too, and a lot of the time, Dommes do not acknowledge that. Does it go so far that all we see are dollar signs when we look at you? No. But, especially when you are a Domme who has worked in a house, you notice a culture of "other" exists such that clients as a whole are seen as being untrustworthy. This attitude is a defense mechanism devised to categorize you, and to a certain extent, make themselves feel less vulnerable. It's a dirty little secret that no one wants to talk about, but frankly, it exists in many service industries. It has developed probably because of a combination of factors, both on the client's part, and our own. It's too bad, but unfortunately the nature of such random interaction. Maybe this is betraying my own, but I believe it exists in no small part because some Dommes let themselves do things that they are not wholly comfortable with. This is NOT the client's fault. How are you supposed to know that someone doesn't like foot worship if they told you ahead of time that they do? Some women are in this business purely for the dollah dollah billz, and not because they love toe kissing. This creates a sharp contrast between their personal lives and their Domme life, and a lot of people have a hard time reconciling this dichotomy. I am an armchair psychologist, but some residual resentment toward "clients" as a group may occur. Again, this is NOT a client's fault, but merely a missing piece of an understanding of the unsolicited tension.

Some behavior that creates completely solicited tension are: calling me up drunk in the middle of the night, calling me 20+ times a day, not showing up or calling when you can't make an appointment (is my time less important than yours?), or offering a domme money to perform "extras"- therefore putting the person (who might not be financially stable) in a difficult spot. If you think it's okay to put someone in that position when you have not negotiated for it ahead of time, you are an asshole. Now, I am not someone who gets their panties all in a twist when asked to perform escort-related activities. I know some people throw a shit-fit when approached like that, and that is their prerogative. However, assuming that someone can be bought is fucked up.

All this aside, it is up to everyone to be fully responsible for themselves and their actions. We're all adults, aren't we?

The reason why I brought all of this up, is because I'm pretty tired of all the "US" vs. "them" attitude out there amongst Dommes. It's too simplistic, it's too generalized, and it's wrong. I am currently dating someone who was a client, and he has turned out to be one of the most delightfully charming people I've ever been with. Many Dommes are shocked that I would do this, but I don't feel that I am any more at risk than with any other relationship. I also feel like it is hypocritical in the sense that their boyfriends have probably all been "clients" in one sense or another. Whether at a strip club, a massage parlor, or where ever else.

Koom bi ya, mi lord...

I will also say for the record, if you see a client (who was respectful) outside of the dungeon atmosphere, and you automatically feel threatened or uncomfortable, then maybe you are in the wrong business.

Off Topic:

Booming sound systems in cars are:


hurt my ears

always playing the exact music that no one who is subjected to it wants to hear

supposedly an indication that you are a thug, but, if you were a real gangsta, wouldn't you want to keep a low profile so that the whole world can't hear when you're rollin in yo 4.0?


P.S. Anyone who subscribes, I'm sorry for the million and a half email alerts you might get, but I gotta edit this shit on my own! And I constantly find little things to improve.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Men have the most creative ways of masturbating...

Boys, please! No wonder you need a good whipping!

Some of my favorites:

Microwaved canteloupe with a hole in it
Hand run under a hot faucet
Stuffed animals
A vacuum with hose attachment

and last but not least... a greased up garbage bag?!

I really want to hear the strangest ways any of you have "gotten nice" with yourselves.

Don't be shy! But it will be used against you...


Monday, September 8, 2008

He's a Sadistic Shit Freak!...

... Who gives boys enemas!!" A direct quote from one of my more colorful clients, in reference to one of his colleagues. As soon as he said it, I was like, you know I have to write that down, right? He wanted to make sure I kept the enema part in there, although I would have been satisfied just with the title quote. Ah, there are some people who say wild things because they think it's funny, and some people who just can't help it.

Speaking of shit, I went to see the new Serrano exhibition on Thursday- huge 8 foot pictures of shit. Literally. Huge, very sensitively and carefully taken photos of shit. Dog shit, human shit, bull shit, slimey shit, dried up shit, shit with little leaves in it, you name it. There were 66 photos to see, apparently, but I could not get myself past the first room. They must have been pumping in the faint smell of shit too, to add to the 'ambience'. The photos were disgusting, but watching all the SERIOUS critics walk around, examining the things so closely was the real art. No one laughed at all. No surprise, I guess. I read an interview with Serrano where he said he thinks they are tremendously beautiful and groundbreaking... uh, yeah, in a super-hack kind of way. This dude made a million bucks for putting a crucifix in a bottle of piss, and now we are supposed to think he had some huge explosion of inspiration by taking close-ups of shit? He is no better than DJ's who've made a name for themselves by talking shit. He is like the Howard Stern of art, sans the obnoxious need to continually humiliate and gawk at women.

Now that we're on the topic of coprophilia, I just want to say that a) I don't get it, and b) I think that it is a whole lot more popular than people think. Judging from what is responded to on Max Fisch the most, I would say that shit is pretty up there as something that people are fascinated by and want to try (as a way to deepen one's submission?) or are completely repulsed by. I confess I am fascinated by why someone would want to do it, but ultimately, the visceral reality would be too much. Unless someone would want a Roman shower at the same time... ew, double ew.

Anyway, don't let my "ew's" discourage you from responding, as I would really like someone to honestly tell me why they love their mistress's shit so much. Your explanations are better than anything that wikipedia could ever offer.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Kid's shows and Stevie Wonder...

I was listening to Stevie Wonder today, and sometimes his songs make me think about kid's tv shows from the late 70's and 80's. Perhaps this is a strange connection to make, but he was a featured performer on a lot of children's shows from that era. If you are familiar with his song "Black Man", where children are made to call out the names of various important people of color (and non-color) to emphasize the importance all races have had on civilization, perhaps the connection is less strange. To make myself a little clearer, I remember when I was a little kid children's programming had a particular agenda to encourage racial unity and cohesiveness which kids who grew up after me lack. Sesame Street and Reading Rainbow in particular, I remember, left the more indelible impression that race was simply a color, a part of the beautiful spectrum of diversity of being human.

I grew up in the suburbs and I'm white, so I ate these images up like free Rolos at the movie theater. Perhaps the images encouraged my unawareness of the real problems that existed. They were often treacly-sweet musical montages of children playing together on a swing in bell-bottoms: a boy with a huge afro and a front tooth missing, a little blonde girl with a crooked ponytail- a vision of urban racial utopia. These images were, like the song, part of a desperate struggle to implant these values into kids my age (values which were relatively new and progressive for the time). Reading Rainbow was a little more pragmatic, as LeVar encouraged you to read books explaining in children's language the story of Harriet Tubman and the America's (many of which warbled under the weightiness of their own subject matter).

Regardless of the result, the programs were a well-intentioned effort on the part of those who recognized that prejudice starts very young to try to prevent further misguided hatred. I'm sure they knew a television show could never override the opinions you absorb from your parents, but it was sort of a noble thing, I think, to make a concerted effort to indulge the possibility of racial harmony. And in the suburbs when children are really young, and don't know what the history between the races has been, I guess this is possible. Things change, however, when you get a little older and take a history class...

Perhaps it is noble as well because it's probably the first time children's television ever tried to instill anything beyond cleaning behind your ears and washing your hands. The Sesame Street images still evoke feelings of warmth and hopefulness in me, even though I know that they were intentional and more than a little staged. (Unlike Stevie Wonder!!)

Staginess aside, I'm not sure whether someone my age who grew up amid a lot of racial conflict would have seen these images, or what they would have thought of them. My guess is that they probably have a much different perspective in respect to their own personal reality and what they saw on t.v., which of course one comes to realize, is fantasy.

But, I'm not going to pontificate on something I know nothing about. I do, however, know that the reason I like listening to Stevie is not only because it is brilliant fucking pop music, but his voice and his lyrics are embued with a warmth that seems to make any prejudice unfathomable.

Anyway, Happy Labor Day, I'm going to go swing my ass off!

Listen to the song here:

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