Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Cross Post from "Diaries of the Diabolical" Pics from Violent Fems Party: Part Deux!


Here's a taste of what you missed by hiding at home:


Phasers and bike chains?
The VFs know how to party!











Ensign booty meets The Kingpin.












The Scorpion is ready for action.


















Psychobubbles' first round.













The Knife and The Kingpin pelt their hapless prisoner with wet Tribbles.












Knuckles can't resist letting him have it, either!















Our princess. Ha ha ha!

















The Knife beats and wedgies someone who was dumb enough to wander into their private party.












Kitty Stanwyck comes prepared to any party.













Scorpion finds herself a couple of suckers.

















Knuckles and The Kingpin plan their next move.













The Kingpin loves beating up boys!













xoxo.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Live Vicariously: Review of Violent Fems Attack Party II: Wrath of Dhams!

Sent to Da Kingpin's email, 11/16/10:

Dear Mistress Veronica:

Please accept my heartfelt thanks for Sunday's Violent Fems party. I really appreciate all the hard work you put into the party and the Violent Fems. I especially appreciate your allowing me to be an attackee. Allow me to provide you with my account of and feedback on the evening. Please feel free to edit/use it for any promotional purposes that you feel are appropriate and to forward it to any of the other Violent Fems.

I had the honor of being the first attackee of the evening and the experience will stay with me a long time. It will be hard to recount sufficiently the whirlwind that swept over me from the time Knuckles (a/k/a Mistress Wynter) placed the chain collar around my neck and dragged me from the bar to deposit me at the feet of the Violent Fems, suffered their wicked torments and then, finished with me unceremoniously, dumped me back at the bar, my Star Fleet issued red shirt soaking wet and my soul tattered and torn.

This was the first seriously (play-party) public play I've really ever engaged in, but when I was at the Violent Fems feet, my nipples stung by pinches, my face reverberating with their slaps, gasping as Knuckles spewed water into my face and hungrily craning my neck trying to catch the spit raining done on me, then it was just me and them; the rest of the bar melting away. Prone before them, I felt the boots of several women crush me, with some kicks and stomps on my cock and balls. (The Fems not knowing of the metal studs on my thong, beneath my pants, that made it even more painful.) Devilishly, Da Kingpin shoved the front of her boot into my mouth, making her smile and earning an encouraging "good boy" from her.

Permitting me to catch my breath, the Fems moved me onto my hands and knees, head-down staring at several pairs of boots. Not needing to be told twice, the Fems ordered me to start kissing their boots. Feverishly, I spun from one boot to the next, the Fems prodding me on with their kicks and taunts. Now my thong, earned me an atomic wedgie and much mocking laughter. Tiring of my pathetic attempts at submission, the Fems dismissed me and went on to fresh meat.

The evening had only just begun, and I watched as the Fems abused the other silly boys. I won't account their experiences, but suffice it to say, the Fems are diabolically intelligent and know how to attack their victims in a most direct and personal way. Periodically throughout the night the Fems would reward me with a little attention. Da Kingpin Mistress Veronica) is always attentive to the attackees, abusing them, playing with them and even, on occasion, conversing with politely with them. Psycho Bubbles (Mistress Alex), dropping a nice stream of saliva onto her boot, allowed me the honor of licking it up and then ordered me to shine her boots with my tongue. I licked and licked. I'd still be licking if it meant continuing to be in her presence. Knuckles gave my nipples a sharp workout, her eyes hypnotically calming the raging pain inflicted by her fingertips. Mistress Trish, at one point smiled at me, told me I looked thirsty and spat into my waiting mouth.

Perhaps I was at my proudest during the evening when I had the honor of kneeling before Knife (Ms. Regan Black) and lacing up her boots. Her enigmatic beauty making my fingers clumsy, she patiently sat there, while I laced each boot high up her leg. I was in submissive bliss.

It was a wonderful evening filled with lots of BDSM fun, intelligent and pleasant conversation and a relaxing atmosphere. To be in the presence of such intelligent, creative, energetic, beautiful, dominant and skilled women is a gift beyond compare. Hopefully there will be more Violent Fem parties!

With humble gratitude,
Jim a/k/a Booty Spittoon


Aww... Don't you wish you'd been there? I guess you'll just have to wait till January.


xoxo.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

You know you want to come to this...



CLICK ON THE PHOTO FOR A CLOSER LOOK!!


WARNING: The festivities will not be on stage, but happening all around you, so hold on to your control panels, because it's going to be a bumpy space ride!

The intergalactic fun begins: Nov 14th at 7pm. Billymark's West, 29th and 9th Ave NYC. Be there, or be dematerialized!


xoxo.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Save The Date!

The Violent Fems are assigning the date of their next party to November 14th.  Our last party was a smashing success, as I'm sure you've already read about in my last blog post, on Max Fisch (hereherehere, and more, keep reading), and various other blogs.  The next party, like most sequels, promises to be bigger, better, faster, and have more explosions!  So if you missed out last time, it would behoove you to get your ass in gear and make it out on the 14th.  This will be a themed party, to be announced in the next couple of days.

In order to be an attackee, remember to email me at mistressveronicanyc@gmail.com, outlining your interests and experience.  We take prisoners until 5 days before the actual event, so if need time to steady your nerves for long enough to write a polite and succinct email, you have 16 days.


xoxo.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Triumph Deluxe!
















As many of you know, the Violent Fems hosted the first Attack Party NYC has ever seen.  We were all super excited, because it marked the first time we would all play in one space, and was also the first party of it's kind.  After much organizing, it all went off without a hitch, and everyone had a deliciously wonderful time.  Everyone got to play and/or watch play, and BillyMark's West even asked to be our official Violent Fems headquarters!  The pictures above are the Kingpin and Hellcat, me with a shit-eating grin on my face, having beaten many boys, having satiated myself with kink, and having all the Fems sign my shirt for posterity.

We really tried to make the activities as "gang specific" as possible, so as there was certainly a "spirit" of fetish, most of the attacks were a creative collection of homemade implements and spontaneous inspiration.  For instance, one lucky attackee got a pillowcase thrown over his head and spun around until he felt very dizzy.  We then passed him back and forth for fun, pinching his thighs and squeezing his nipples until he fell down on the ground, then we punched and kicked him.  He of course is very into pain.

Another attendee was stepped on relentlessly by four of us, and then had vienna sausages stuffed in his face!  Another attackee had all of his clothes ripped off and was beaten mercilessly.  Mistress Wynter (aka Knuckles Galore) directed some of the victims to dance for all of us, and dubbed them the "Foxy Lady Dancers", after the Jimi Hendrix song that was playing.

Not all of the attacks were pain-specific.  One little victim was dressed in lingerie and gave us a lap dance.  He wore a wig, makeup, and a cute school girl skirt, and was happy to oblige when we directed him to gyrate provocatively.  We then tied her up, gagged her, and made her watch the festivities while prone to a chair.  Of course there was also a tight bondage victim, which we covered in saran wrap while tied to a chair.  There were canings, shoe beatings, dildo sucking, trampling, rolled-up newspaper beatings, sploshing, sissymaid service, and best of all- girl gang generated havoc. 

One of my favorite scenes was with a sissymaid who I made pick dropped pennies up off the floor.  The other Fems participated by slapping the coins out of his hand at random points during the evening.  He did not manage to find all of my coins (very naughty!) so got written on with lipstick, spanked mercilessly, and made to suck my cock.

We had a drink special, which was called "The Black Eye"- a combination of purple liquids, concocted by the bar owner.  The Knife went around spiking victims drinks with her "poison", ha ha!  The only thing I regret is that we didn't get to hit anyone with the oranges we had hidden in socks.  Swing those babies around, and Ouch!  Some nice pain, with very little bruising.

While most of the victims were slaves we have played with many times, the Fems are always looking for fresh meat.  I also want to emphasize that no victim is picked out and played with thoughtlessly.  This should go without saying, but all victims are thoroughly screened and communicated with regarding interests and limits.  Like any session, the Fems take into account the attackee's interests and reconcile them with their own.  There were 9 attackees in all, and many other observers.  It was  exhausting and exhilarating and satiating and entertaining all at once.  I expect the same with each subsequent party.




xoxo.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Killin it on the Killing Floor...

I am writing for The Killing Floor blog now, which is an underground music review resource for Bostonians.  I know what you're going to say, "But Veronica, you live in New York City!?"  To which I would reply, "Yes!  You're right!  But underground music all has to end up here.  In The Big Apple."  Heh.  (Shhh!  Don't tell the editor I said that!)  This is a great opportunity and great fun, as my writing can be as free and unedited as I want it to be (mostly).

Here is my first review (which, if you'll remember is the same album that I reviewed down below.  Only this one is honest):

OOMPA 

And my profile (scroll down to the bottom):

Veronica Wolfe's Profile


xoxo.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Boston best recognize!

Because I'm coming for my yearly visit- muah ha ha!  September 1st to the 3rd. 

And I intend to leave my mark...


xoxo.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

My subs want to party all the time!

The subject line should be sung to Eddie Murphy's, "Party All The Time".

The Violent Fems will be hosting a private party on September 12th at an undisclosed location.  Some lucky participants will get the chance to be "ambushed" by us between 7pm and 9pm if they RSVP ahead of time and pay a small fee of $40 (what a bargain!).  Other subby muffins who want to come but are too pussy to get down and dirty can RSVP to get the location and pay $10 at the door.  Of course, everyone will get a chance to meet the ladies.  Prepare to be entertained, titillated, and charmed by our combined overwhelming feminine whiles!   If you would like to be ambushed, please email me with your interests and experience.

Meanwhile...  I had a photo shoot the other day which came out pretty well.  Here's a little taste:

Thursday, July 29, 2010

I'm not kinky, I'm a pervert.

Violent Fems Caught... On Video!!

Untitled from miss veronica on Vimeo.





Violent Fems from miss veronica on Vimeo.

Violent Fems Caught... On Video!

Friday, July 23, 2010

People are always asking me...

Can I see your published material?  Well, here is something I had printed recently, although I am not super happy about it.  Writing for magazines is totally different than writing for my blog, as I can say whatever the fuck I want on here, with no editors, and no thought to who I might be offending.  So...  as I'm sure you can tell if you are familiar with my writing style (David Foster Wallace...  really?)  there are a lot of literary bullshit theatrics going on in this piece, which I usually find quite repulsive.  But hey, it's a mainstream publication, not exactly McSweeney's.  Although I spoke with the editor about the typo's toward the end of the article, they remain. This is the reality of being a writer:



http://www.gomag.com/article/the_art_of_anachronism/


xoxo.

Friday, July 16, 2010

What the hell are you doing?

And why the fuck aren't you following me here as well??

http://violentfems.blogspot.com


xoxo.

Monday, July 12, 2010

I DID IT!!

I linked my podcast site to this blog!!  Now all I have to do is start talking...

Podcast Testing

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Consider Yourselves Told, Motherfuckers...


This is a project which has been in the works for awhile, and I'm really happy and proud of the results.


Introducing...  THE VIOLENT FEMS




xoxo.


The Kingpin

Saturday, June 26, 2010

ZOMBIE PORN HIPPIE-DIPPY EXTRAVAGANZA!





Friday, June 25, 2010

Enter: The Kingpin.


Aka La Bossa Nostra, aka Capo Donna, aka Gal Capone.

Stay tuned for the unveiling of The Violent Fems!  (confused?  good!)


xoxo.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

You Can't Yell, "Yell!" In Karate...

I was devastated yesterday in karate, when one of my teachers told me that "Kia!" actually means, "Yell!".  He was like, "You can't yell 'yell' when you go to competition, the judges will laugh at you."  So I said, "But I like yelling Kia!"

"You really shouldn't do it," he looked at me.

"But, won't some of them find it ironically hilarious?"

"Nomatter how good your kata is, they will think you don't know what you're saying."

"So then...  what should I say?" I said.

"Try to make it more gutteral, from your diaphragm.  Like, Soueoueouw!"  It was like a constipated Conan the Barbarian.

"Soueooaaaioow!  That does not sound right!"  (I commence all manner of vowels jammed together to make my own scary noise while flexing my muscles in the mirror, to no avail.)


Funny, I don't usually have much trouble finding expletives.




xoxo.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Altruism vs Moral Superiority

Monday, June 14, 2010

Recurring Theme Post: Women Outlaws in History

Marm Mandelbaum

Anne Bonny

Machine Gun Molly

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sequins and Sadisitic Spirituality...

Or, the title of my interview with Mistress Crimson of Chicago. 

Read all about it at:  The Scene!


xoxo.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Sex Change And The City...



The person on the left is recognizable as Sarah Jessica Parker, however, the person on the right is not her younger brother, but in fact HER before her sex change in 1982.

Ha, ha.  Just kidding.  It's Mitch from Real Genius.  But if ever someone had a doppelganger...

I am so sick of the bullshit hype around Sex and the City 2, that I could puke blood.  Under no circumstance is it acceptable to go see this movie.  Only if your dying grandma makes it her last request while holding a puppy with sunglasses in one hand, and a kitten with a bandaged leg in the other.


xoxo.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Many Faces of the Professional Dominant


The above picture is a famous sculpture by Louise Bourgeiose, who died just a week ago, 98 years young.  She had a fascination with spiders, and her style was revolutionary because of it's confessional quality, which I highly admire.  She also continued to remain relevant in the art world until she died- an unusual accomplishment.  I very much love the imagery of a fly being caught in the spider's web as representational of how a Domme approaches her sub, which she captures quite beautifully and quite frighteningly.  (Do you not see a fly?  Imagine yourself standing under her)

look in womens book of myths and secrets imagery of spider and archetypes as representative of domme archetypes

I don't know how many of you know about CarnalNation.com, but it is a wonderful resource for those who like to think too much about their sexuality (ha, just kidding).   Eve Minax (who also uses the analogy of the spider and the fly in her work) has a column there, and I think her latest article is quite good.  Read it and tell me which category is your favorite...


Genus Dominatrices




Enjoy!


xoxo.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Shocking Truth About My First Time

Whenever someone asks me how I got into this business, the answer is inextricably linked to how I first did anything kinky at all.  What I sought out, where I went, who I played with, what actually transpired.  Until a week or so ago, I was under the impression that it happened because of some mysterious need I had of which I did not know the origin.  Perhaps a morbid fascination with darkness, secret societies, and underground cultures.  Perhaps a genetic predisposition.  My deeply thought-about (so I thought) answer has always been:  I am unsure, I just knew I was interested in spanking and I knew I wanted to do something weird, so I sought it out where ever I could. 

It's funny how your memory can be sparked by masturbating, as I was thinking about a woman lover I had the summer before I went to college.  We were high school buddies, but one day she decided that she wanted to attack me on the couch while watching some godawful movie about The Call of Cthulu.  I fantasize about this sometimes, because it was so powerful, and because it is rare for me to find a woman to whom I am attracted.  Usually the fantasy doesn't get past the point of making out, at which time I usually shoot my load.  However,  this time I followed the memory to it's end, and remembered that she attacked me in numerous ways which resemble ways that I currently attack men.

Her father was a preacher, and had abused her since she was very little.  As a result, she emancipated from her parents when she was 15, dropped out of high school (although she did extremely well), and slept on various couches of various men who she relied on in a "kindness of strangers" sort of way.  She was the first of us to smoke cigarettes, had a beat-up car which she probably drove too fast, worked as a stripper, and painted things she saw in her dreams.  She would show up mysteriously and disappear in the same way, like a rebellious pixie.  We went to the beach, read poetry aloud, danced, sang, shouted, drank too much soda, stayed up all night talking- all the things I suppose you do when you're a teenager.  Her life seemed to constantly be in crisis, but somehow she made everything magical.  I don't know how else to explain it, but I think you know what I mean.

This freedom of spirit of course extended into her sex life.  I remember her showing me the dildo which she made her boyfriend suck on and take in his ass (which I beheld with much fascination and disbelief).  She encouraged him to sleep with other men (which he grudgingly agreed to do, I think just to please her), and suggested to our group of friends that we have an orgy.  No one actually wanted to have an orgy, so her suggestions were met with blank stares and cunning subject changes.  Then we would talk behind her back about how outrageous the suggestion was, and how gross the actualization of it would be.  She then went on a campaign to get the boys in the group to have sex with one boy whose sexuality seemed ambiguous at the time (he's a flaming homosexual now), which was also met with much derision, yet trepidation that they would be seen as boorish if they refused.

The things she did to me, now that I look back, were fairly tame, and obviously the gropings of a teenager who does not quite know what she is doing, but she impressed me with a sense of the myriad possibilities within sexuality.  I hesitate to give this information away, as I feel the moment would lose part of it's power.  I still know her, but we have never spoken about what happened.

Anyway, I'm just glad I remembered.


xoxo.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

I do not want women in my porn EXCEPT...

When it's sixties lesbian blue ball-creating porn.  I don't know what it is about these women.  Maybe it's the fuzzy little bushes, maybe it's the believability of their coquettishness.  Maybe it's the tease of it all.  Or the lingerie.  Or the waiting.   Christ, you're waiting so long that sometimes it seems like the revelation of her stockings will send you over the edge.  I found myself yelling at the screen, "Please show me your pussy!  God, please!" 

I really tried to watch recent lesbian porn.  I tried my damnedest.  But Jesus, do they all need to penetrate eachother with their long nails?? Who thinks that's hot??   I mean long fingernails in your pussy?  That's painful, not erotic!  I can't help but think that one of them is going to fall off and get stuck- ew!  Imagine (if you're a guy) getting a long-nailed finger in your ass??  Hell-to-the-no is the correct answer.  Also, fuckin hell, could they fake having an orgasm any worse?  Could they look any more bored?  And they just fuck for so.  Damned.  Long.  Really?  You're really having a 45 minute orgasm?  Please.  I don't mean to disparage these women.  They would not be porn stars if there was not a very appreciative and enthusiastic audience for them.  It just does not appeal to me.


Sixties lesbian porn may not be in color, but it is a feast.  They paw innocently at each other, coyly, adorably, and, at least in the movies I have seen, seem engaged.  A part of me really believes that these girls were just sexually curious free-loving go-go hippies, on the loose in the world and going wild!  They never put their fingers inside each other, and they never bury their faces in each other's pussies, but I like it that way.  It kind of reminds me of my first teenaged, confused lesbian pawings.  Not being sure exactly what to do to the other girl, just being sure that her flesh was against yours, and it was soft and warm, and exciting.

Something Weird Video is an awesome resource for vintage porn, and pretty much anything else that is from the 60's, cultish, and made of celluloid.  I've put a link to trailers for two of the movies I have for you to enjoy.  Tell me what you think: 

Trailer for Monique, My Love and Babette


xoxo.
Gee, I'm really sorry for those of you who keep checking back here to see if there are any updates on how much I masturbate, or the latest hot session that just got me so wet and worked up.  Well, I'm not really sorry, because you should know by now that I don't give a shit about titillating you.  There are plenty of other Dommes willing to do that, who do it much better than I.

On that note, I want to talk about the most non-titillating thing ever, which is the moral ambiguity of war, specifically, the Vietnam War.  I know this is sort of a strange topic of conversation (if your dick wasn't soft already, it should be now) 

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Veronica Unplugged

I haven't written in awhile, because chiefly, I don't like to ramble on for the sake of rambling, or else just write so that you might have something to read.  However, I did want to offer an explanation, as I am getting barraged with emails about why I have been neglecting my favorite rant-a-go-go.
(Not sure whether anyone else gets this feeling, but sometimes I can't sit in front of a pixelated rectangle and concentrate.  It makes me feel like I'm missing Life.  In fact, I want to throw it out the window much of the time.  I mean, the weather has been fantastic!) 

Rest assured I will be back in proper form in a few days...


xoxo.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Brace Yourselves...

This picture was taken a few months ago by my friend Josh, who I think is a pretty damned fucking good photographer.  It's definitely not a pretty picture, and because of that, I have been a bit apprehensive about posting it, even though I think it is a wonderful picture. 

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Celebrity Asses I Want To Bang, And Why...

* Robert Pattinson-  For saying he's allergic to vaginas, and also to bang that annoying smirk off his face. Let's just say that I'd suddenly "be out" of lube.  Whoopsie!

* Robert Downey Jr.- Oh, you know he wants it. I'd whip the big daddy out for him.  "What, Robbie? The horse dick-sized cock isn't enough??  You want me to slap on the latex opera glove and Astroglide my fist?"  He seems like a slut who likes a challenge.

* Johnny Depp- He also wants it, I mean, just look at him! But he'll have to suck it first.  And prance around in a neglige and high heels.  Oh, I want to pull that greasy head of hair, and make him watch me in the mirror.

Oh, excuse me, am I being crass?  Wait, two more...

* Justin Timberlake-  I would gag him with another cock first, preferably a real one, then I'd make him hum, "SexyBack", while tears stream down his face.  

* Jennifer Lopez- In terms of asses, also a no-brainer.  I would take a long, hard look at it, slap it until it was pink, and spit in the crack.  Marc Antony would be tied to a chair.  Blindfolded.  Wearing really painful nipple clamps.  Screeching while she's mewling.  Of course, I would give it to her slow and lovingly at first, and then I would remember what horrible fucking music she makes and make her take it, like the spoiled, over-hyped hack that she is.


Phew!  Does that sound like I need someone to hate-fuck?   Nah...




xoxo.

Playgrounds, locker rooms, and other "real" play spaces...

I was recently talking to a sub about schoolyard bully scenes, which set me off on a tangent about how intensely fun it would be to do a session on an actual playground (abandoned, of course).

I imagined me and a group of my friends kicking dirt at him, pushing him backwards down a kiddie slide, pushing him on a swing so that he found himself floundering high in the air (he is afraid of heights), and making him hang onto the monkey bars while I pulled his pants down. I would make him hold on until he fell, and kick him in the balls for failing. Ah! So many possibilities! I would tie him to a wall and throw a dodge ball at him! Put Icy/Hot in his jockstrap! 

Has anyone else had these fantasies, or else used a non-conventional (yet, very typical in the role play sense) environment for play? Such as: churches, locker rooms, prison (hey, it could happen), the office, a lecture hall, etc?  I'm talking play, not just sex. 

Monday, April 12, 2010

Belts and Butterflies...

I'm testing for my white belt on Wednesday, so am a little nervous.  According to my classmates, you exercise until you collapse.  Then you get up, and exercise more.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Down Undah with Amanda Dwyer!

(This interview was originally done for Irene Boss' Fem Dom Scene, which can be found here:  http://domboss.com/messageboard/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=24&page=1)

 This interview was done via email, with Ms Amanda Dwyer, premier Mistress of Sydney, Australia. She is Head Mistress and owner of Salon Kitty's, which is one of the oldest, most respected dungeons in the world. It is plain to see why, as their website is one of the most comprehensive, user-friendly, and educational I have ever visited in terms of BDSM. I am horrified of airplanes but would honestly ride the 22 or however many hours to visit them.

Her blog can be found here: http://mistressamanda.com/

The Salon Kitty website is here: http://salonkittys.com


ENJOY!


Veronica:

It says on the Salon Kitty's website that you have owned the business since 1990. Could you tell us a bit about how you became a professional dominatrix, and the trajectory your career has taken?



Amanda:

If you know you are a dominant woman I think when the situation presents itself to be able to engage in female domination with other women who share your interest, the temptation is far too great to ignore. I was thumbing through a local magazine and came upon an advertisement calling for women who were interested in the position as an "apprentice Mistress". I applied for the position and I guess the rest is history. This was way back in February 1986, Salon Kitty's commenced in October 1985 so when I came along it had been running for just over 3 months.

The women who were there at the time came from an establishment called "Les Scenes" which had been closed down by the local authorities.



Veronica: 

What is the scene like in Sydney? Can you tell us a bit about what it was like 25 years ago, even 10 years ago, as compared to today?



Amanda:

The scene has changed a great deal in the past 25 years though I was answering questions in a newspaper advice column 20 years ago and people still ask the same sort of questions. There is still a lot of curiosity about Domme/sub relationships and how sexual activity fits within a scene and although there has been a great deal of demystification it isn't always positive. Overall the scene has become more accessible to anyone interested and like all scenes you have those who are good for it and those who you would rather see not connected. What I have noticed in the last 10 years in particular is a fair bit of animosity from the amateur scene towards Pro Dommes and at times it has been quite nasty. I think this is a great pity because Pro Dommes and Pro submissives have a lot of knowledge and are often more than willing to share information.





Veronica:

One of the things I really like about Salon Kitty's is how progressive it is in terms of legal and social matters. You discuss everything from local laws concerning business practices to accommodating (and encouraging) disabled clients. Your website states, "During the early 1990's, Amanda was a leading figure working toward a complete rationalisation of the laws regulating our industry."

Can you tell us a bit about that?


Amanda:

I was spokesperson for the N.S.W. Parlour Industry Association in the early 90's. This was representing the sex industry in general throughout New South Wales, not only those involved in the BDSM scene. At the time the state had some really old and out of touch laws which only encouraged graft and corruption. As spokesperson for the Association I was advocating for an amendment to the Disorderly Houses Act of 1943 together with the Summary Offences Act 1988. This was essentially to prevent brothels from being declared "disorderly houses" just because the dwelling was a brothel and to enable anyone living off the earnings of prostitution in a brothel (for example: receptionists or cleaners as well as owners) to do so legally. We also called for making it an offense to coerce anyone into prostitution. It was a lot of hard work but the results were certainly worth it and yes I am proud of my contribution. As the owner of Salon Kitty's (defined as a BDSM brothel) it wasn't fun being called 'a criminal' during an interview on a highly rated national current affairs program, although it was technically correct before the legislative changes finally happened!



Veronica:

I very much love the explanation on your website about mutual consent. I am including the entire quote because it is just so wonderful:


"The essential ethic of all BDSM practice is mutual consent. To discipline without consent is assault. To carry out a sexual act without consent is rape. Salon Kitty's, in line with the entire BDSM scene does not condone any act that does not have the explicit consent of the submissive partner.


There is a perception that Bondage and Discipline will result in crimes of violence and deprivation. There is no doubt that unfortunately some criminals are depraved and sadistic and tie up their victims and inflict hideous acts on them. These individuals are a blight on any society. But this stands in the same relationship to the BDSM 'scene' as does rape to making love. The act may appear the same, but one is criminal and the other is loving. The Dominant seeks out a partner who will submit, the submissive seeks out a partner who will dominate. The criminal seeks out a victim, the victim has no say in the matter and certainly does not seek out the criminal.


Implied in consent is the responsibility of the dominant partner in any BDSM scene to monitor the well being of the submissive, to ensure that the submissive is stable and that the consent is still operative.


It is also the responsibility of a dominant to ensure that a submissive is not consenting to an act that is not in his or her best long term interest. Obviously nobody can be certain of the outcome of any act, but it is a responsibility to monitor the submissive as conscientiously as possible.


Neither partner should indulge in heavy drinking or drug taking as this can impair judgment resulting in serious accidents."


I just included it because it says it all. Please include any further comment if you wish.


Amanda:

Yes, I would like to add to those comments because I have been counselling more and more women in Dom/sub relationships who have been emotionally abused.

It must be stressed that everything we do in this lifestyle is consensual, if it isn't consensual it is abuse, it's really as simple as that. If something is happening without consent, and doesn't stop when requested, it is abuse.

There is no divine Dominant's right, or in some cases, submissive's right, to abuse. And the old phrases such as "You aren't a good submissive if you don't....", "You are a weak submissive if you....", "You aren't a true submissive because...." just don't apply. There is no "one right way" to be Dominant or submissive. Anyone who insists otherwise is likely inexperienced, extremely egotistical, and/or downright dangerous.

When it comes to something where one doesn't feel comfortable, something you specifically negotiated not to be part of your submission and/or something you haven't consented to it becomes abuse.

I sincerely believe submissives should be wary of Dominants who think their style is the only correct style, and especially wary of Dominants who do not think they have anything to learn from others with experience. Unfortunately abusers have a happy knack of making people feel "it is all your fault", "you are the one to blame". Everyone has the right as a human being to be treated with respect, to retain self worth and dignity.



Veronica:

Can you tell us a bit about the training process at Salon Kitty's? How long do Mistress's apprentice for? Does it vary from person to person? Must they first complete a course? Is it required that they serve as submissives before completing their training?


Amanda:

The realm of BDSM is vast in scope and can be quite daunting to a beginner. My approach is to help and encourage a woman to explore everything that interests her.

Female Domination comes in many styles. Naturally every woman wants to be a powerful, desired and appreciated Domme. However, I encourage women to ask themselves before they come along for their interview "Do I see myself as a Mistress who is a Trainer, Teacher, Teaser, Temptress, Goddess, Sadist, Seductress, Loving Control Queen, Punisher, or Mother figure?" Often at this stage women don’t really know nor have they given it a thought, but it gives them an aspect to think about. I find that whatever activities or themes which excite, energise and turn a lady on as a Domme will dictate the styles of sessions she gravitates towards and will be the one's she enjoys the most.

Training takes time, on average one year to gain basic competence. Some women learn very quickly and are 'naturals' others take longer, feel their way slowly but do well in the end. It all comes down to how much time one is willing to give at the beginning, and how versatile the lady is prepared to be. A genuine interest in BDSM is required and it also helps if you are attractive and in proportion body-wise. Women who are willing to "switch" roles normally do well for their whole BDSM career. Women at SK's are never expected to do anything they don't want to do - that is an immutable House policy.




Veronica:

What are your favorite types of scenes, and has that changed throughout your career? If so, how?


Amanda:

I definitely still enjoy one on one scenes and my personal interests are varied. A lot depends on the client themselves as to what I engage in. I see myself as an educator and guide because I like to introduce novice explorers and veteran enthusiasts alike to my personal style of Female Domination. My main aim these days is to assist individuals and couples to acquire the essential skills to make their D/s relationship come together. Counseling and assisting people to resolve sexual conflicts, as well as bringing together different fantasies in a manner that works for everyone is an area in which I specialise.



Veronica:

I very much agree with you that fantasy vs. reality concerning a lifestyle BDSM relationship may not always live up to expectations, and therefore requires much communication and compassion. A quote from your blog:

"I would suggest to some of you to forget about all your fantasies coming true if you wish to live the 24/7 lifestyle because nothing is ever exactly as one imagines. If it were, then what use is the imagination? It must always work beyond reality for us to move forward from one reality to the next, that is what makes life challenging and exciting. The D/s life is the same as all lives. It can be good or bad, it also can become a broken fragmented life."

I, and I'm sure many of our readers, are quite interested in knowing more about your personal opinions regarding lifestyle situations. If possible, and only if you feel compelled, could you provide us with an example of a situation in which that dynamic worked or did not work for you?


Amanda:

A Pro Domme is the keeper of many secrets so I don't like to divulge too many details about my personal lifestyle. However one area which has caused concern for me and many others with whom I have worked over the years is when a Master decides he wants his 'submissive' to come and work at Salon Kitty's, and even more so when she doesn't even inform me of the circumstances. Problems arise when the Dom starts to get jealous because his submissive is enjoying her work (believe it or not!), or he decides to phone constantly insisting that she report every little detail of her last session she had with a client. When a 24/7 lifestyle relationship starts to intrude in this manner it becomes uncomfortable and nearly always destructive.


Veronica:

Finally, please tell us a bit about your 25th anniversary. Are you having a big party? Anything special planned?


Amanda:

We are planning a number of functions, a cocktail party is one event but at this stage all events and dates are not finalised. My Blog and the Salon Kitty website will have dates and specific details.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Man, I forgot!

How much I fucking love Al Green('s music).  I think I need an outfit like this...




If this does not kill you, don't talk to me...

http://www.last.fm/music/Al+Green/_/Here+I+Am+(Come+and+Take+Me)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Vintage Veronica

No, these are not links to me wearing vintage lingerie.  Pervert.


Perhaps some of you who have only just started reading my blog haven't had the time (tsk! tsk!) to read all of it, so here are a few of my favorites from 2008.  Click and enjoy!




A childhood revelation


My view of what happened at the Hidden Chamber


On coffee choices


My first time at a stripclub






xoxo.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Psychological Ethics and Taking Responsibility...

I am a firm believer that BDSM can be therapeutic. Anyone who's been in the scene for long enough has witnessed the cathartic benefits of playing with an understanding partner. I've always considered myself someone who is extremely open-minded when it comes to people exploring the darker aspects of their psychology. And I truly think that role playing these aspects can enable one to hold this darkness up in order for it to be examined, felt, accepted, and possibly transcended (if that is the goal).

However, recently I had to turn down a session in which the crux of our interaction would be me telling him that he is worthless. Worthless in reality, worthless because he truly believes that he can never please a woman, worthless because he's never had a lasting relationship, and because he is a failure in his professional life. He has been playing for 25 years, and apparently, no one has EVER asked him why he needs this said/done to him.

I also turned it down because he had some weird notion that a woman could not be dominant unless she was a shrewd, unfeeling businesswoman (as is his former Domme, according to him). However, he seemed to have a bit of ambivalence about this, because she was "all about the money, and nothing else", so he wanted to find someone less like that. Hence, his appeal to me.

I came away from our little chat feeling very confused, and very sad.  Shit, I even cried.

Is there some humiliation aspect that I'm simply not understanding? Or has BDSM actually reinforced the negative views this man has of himself? On the one hand, I tend to believe it has been detrimental, but on the other, also feel like he should have taken responsibility for his perceived shortcomings and gotten psychological help.



We left the meeting with each of us welcoming the other to keep in touch.

What does everyone think? I'm at a loss.


xoxo.



Brassai and the underground of times past...


I think we can all be in agreement that I really enjoy memorabilia which shows a dark or perverted side of life during time periods in which it was very, very daring to be kinky, transsexual, homosexual, a nudist, or any other kind of "other".  I am fascinated by people who seemed to have transcended the very strict rules of the day, and even risked their entire lives, because they perhaps needed (?) to express a different side of themselves.  It makes me really thankful that I live in the time period that I do (despite our various hardships), but yet, at the same time, makes me curious about (and possibly a bit romantic toward) a time when social repression was ubiquitous.  I admire these characters, and wish there was more of a document of their existence.  Some of the photos may not look that shocking, but remember that these photos were taken in the 30's, when it was scandal to even see a woman's knees. 

Saturday, March 6, 2010

It's not about the activity!!

Time and time again, I get asked, "Mistress, what would you like to do to me?"  "Mistress, what is your favorite thing to do?"

And my answer is that it depends on the other person and my mood.  I don't blindly go around wishing one thing would happen all the time.  That's boring.  And unimaginative.

There are some things that I sit back and think, wow, I really do need more of that in my life, re:  kidnapping.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Moderating like a motherfucker...

In addition to Irene's FemDom Interview Forum, I am now also helping to moderate the fledgling forum at Club Dom, which you may find here:


Come over and test the waters!  I promise I won't try to drown you... unless I feel like it.


xoxo

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Fuck the CW and the "confidentiality" they rode in on...

A few days ago, I received an email from some wannabe television drone for some show they are working on for that shitty network, the CW.  This is the email correspondence between the drone and me.  I will be updating this post as the emails progress (or deteriorate).  Enjoy!!


FROM CW:

Good Afternoon,

I saw your profile on Eros-NY.com and I thought that you might be interested in the below opportunity.

The CW’s new docu-series, “Secrets,” is developing a new docu-reality series about young productive and high achieving women. But hidden beneath all the success are issues that are being kept secret.
Do you have a secret addiction or obsession that’s forcing you to live a double life? We want to know your stories.

We are looking to cast women between the ages of 18 and 30 who have a very active sex life.  The story will be told from your perspective, your words, your life. 

If you’d like to participate in this documentary series please visit our casting website at http://cwsecrets.com/application.html   and please mention that H referred you so that we can prioritize your application
Thanks! And I hope to hear from you soon!

***All applications and inquiries are confidential.

~ H (I am leaving their name confidential for obvious reasons)







FROM ME:

Hi H,

I appreciate the offer, but am not secretive or ashamed of what I do for a living.

Good luck finding subjects.


Sincerely,


Veronica


FROM CW CASTING:

Hi Veronica,
Thank you for getting back to me - If you are willing to share your story we would love to hear about it - please check out our casting website at www.cwsecrets.com and take a look at the producing team that you would work with if you are cast for this production as have over 20 years of tv production experience.  If you have any further questions, please feel free to email us at casting@cwsecrets.com

Again, thank you for your response, and I look forward to possibly hearing from you again!

H


FROM ME:

Again, as I told you, I do not keep my "alternative lifestyle" a secret from anyone, so would not be a good fit for your exploitative show.

In the future, it might behoove you to read people's emails before sending a (grammatically incorrect) response.  You might even get thoughtful, intelligent people to audition for you!  Although, that's not really what you're looking for, is it?


Regards,


Veronica




***  I mean, seriously.  Women between the ages of 18 and 30 with a "very active sex life"?  You mean motherfucking prostitutes?  Sex-addicted women?  Dominatrices?  Forgive me if I'm wrong (I'm not) but most prostitutes don't consider their work part of their "sex life".  Neither do most dominatrices.  It's kinda pathetic if you do, actually.  Automatically, also, I'm supposed be hiding what I do?  How is that?  Eh, I shouldn't be surprised that a casting gopher has no idea what they're looking for or how to approach people.  It is television, afterall.   ***




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