Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Vintage Veronica

No, these are not links to me wearing vintage lingerie.  Pervert.

Perhaps some of you who have only just started reading my blog haven't had the time (tsk! tsk!) to read all of it, so here are a few of my favorites from 2008.  Click and enjoy!

A childhood revelation

My view of what happened at the Hidden Chamber

On coffee choices

My first time at a stripclub


Saturday, March 13, 2010

Psychological Ethics and Taking Responsibility...

I am a firm believer that BDSM can be therapeutic. Anyone who's been in the scene for long enough has witnessed the cathartic benefits of playing with an understanding partner. I've always considered myself someone who is extremely open-minded when it comes to people exploring the darker aspects of their psychology. And I truly think that role playing these aspects can enable one to hold this darkness up in order for it to be examined, felt, accepted, and possibly transcended (if that is the goal).

However, recently I had to turn down a session in which the crux of our interaction would be me telling him that he is worthless. Worthless in reality, worthless because he truly believes that he can never please a woman, worthless because he's never had a lasting relationship, and because he is a failure in his professional life. He has been playing for 25 years, and apparently, no one has EVER asked him why he needs this said/done to him.

I also turned it down because he had some weird notion that a woman could not be dominant unless she was a shrewd, unfeeling businesswoman (as is his former Domme, according to him). However, he seemed to have a bit of ambivalence about this, because she was "all about the money, and nothing else", so he wanted to find someone less like that. Hence, his appeal to me.

I came away from our little chat feeling very confused, and very sad.  Shit, I even cried.

Is there some humiliation aspect that I'm simply not understanding? Or has BDSM actually reinforced the negative views this man has of himself? On the one hand, I tend to believe it has been detrimental, but on the other, also feel like he should have taken responsibility for his perceived shortcomings and gotten psychological help.

We left the meeting with each of us welcoming the other to keep in touch.

What does everyone think? I'm at a loss.


Brassai and the underground of times past...

I think we can all be in agreement that I really enjoy memorabilia which shows a dark or perverted side of life during time periods in which it was very, very daring to be kinky, transsexual, homosexual, a nudist, or any other kind of "other".  I am fascinated by people who seemed to have transcended the very strict rules of the day, and even risked their entire lives, because they perhaps needed (?) to express a different side of themselves.  It makes me really thankful that I live in the time period that I do (despite our various hardships), but yet, at the same time, makes me curious about (and possibly a bit romantic toward) a time when social repression was ubiquitous.  I admire these characters, and wish there was more of a document of their existence.  Some of the photos may not look that shocking, but remember that these photos were taken in the 30's, when it was scandal to even see a woman's knees. 

Saturday, March 6, 2010

It's not about the activity!!

Time and time again, I get asked, "Mistress, what would you like to do to me?"  "Mistress, what is your favorite thing to do?"

And my answer is that it depends on the other person and my mood.  I don't blindly go around wishing one thing would happen all the time.  That's boring.  And unimaginative.

There are some things that I sit back and think, wow, I really do need more of that in my life, re:  kidnapping.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Moderating like a motherfucker...

In addition to Irene's FemDom Interview Forum, I am now also helping to moderate the fledgling forum at Club Dom, which you may find here:

Come over and test the waters!  I promise I won't try to drown you... unless I feel like it.