Sunday, June 14, 2009
We live in grave times...
The time... of the douchey hat. They are ubiquitous. You can't escape them. They need you to notice them- they yearn to stand out and distinguish themselves as evidence that their wearer is a huge douche. Leopard print cowboy hats with rolled-up brims, pink Red Sox hats, cheap pork pie hats and fedoras from the Gap, faux-distressed trucker hats, flat-brimmed baseball caps... must I go on?
Yes, I must. Indiana Jones hats? Have they replaced Mazda Miatas as the new mid-life crisis accessory? It's cheaper, I suppose... But if you wear one- you don't look like Harrison Ford. You just look like a douche.
Why doesn't the Italian straw skimmer hat make a comeback? Who has the balls to wear that one? Someone has to bring back the barber shop quartet along with it. It's a dying art. Someone under 80 has to save it! Boyz II Men were waaay ahead of their time.
We also live in a time of the douchey jean pant. Perhaps not so much as a few years ago, but the presence of the intentionally ripped and creased jean with various bedazzlements are still pretty common.
Personally, I'm waiting for the rainbow light-up disco visor to make a comeback. I had one when I was a kid, and I can't wait to get back on the douchey hat bandwagon. See above.
Posted by Mistress Veronica NYC at 10:11 PM