Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Stuff I hate...

1) Hipsters who wear fedoras. Once upon a time, this was a hat that I really enjoyed seeing on men. It's classic and sharp, not to mention that one of my ex-boyfriends had a vintage one that made me want to fuck him like crazy every time he wore it. However, it's been so co-opted by hipsters now that the mere sight of one makes me want to rip it off their heads and stomp on it.

2) That voicemail lady who makes you wait to leave your message when you're really excited to leave your friends something that's going to make them crack up. But the lady just keeps fucking talking!! I don't care that I can press 5 to page them! Who ever does that anyway?! Shut up!

3) Gentrification. I'm white, so I contribute to it automatically by breathing, but still, I hate it. Especially during the summer, when there are a bunch of dumbassed tourists on the subway. And especially when I have to walk near Times Square. And also when I walk through my neighborhood past hipsters with fedoras. Okay, I pretty much hate it constantly.

4) Pink polo shirts. I just can't convey this enough. They're worse than gentrification by like, eons. If any pain sluts out there want me to really beat you with every ounce of passion and force that I've got, then I would suggest wearing a pink polo shirt and a fedora to session.

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