Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Celebrity Asses I Want To Bang, And Why...

* Robert Pattinson-  For saying he's allergic to vaginas, and also to bang that annoying smirk off his face. Let's just say that I'd suddenly "be out" of lube.  Whoopsie!

* Robert Downey Jr.- Oh, you know he wants it. I'd whip the big daddy out for him.  "What, Robbie? The horse dick-sized cock isn't enough??  You want me to slap on the latex opera glove and Astroglide my fist?"  He seems like a slut who likes a challenge.

* Johnny Depp- He also wants it, I mean, just look at him! But he'll have to suck it first.  And prance around in a neglige and high heels.  Oh, I want to pull that greasy head of hair, and make him watch me in the mirror.

Oh, excuse me, am I being crass?  Wait, two more...

* Justin Timberlake-  I would gag him with another cock first, preferably a real one, then I'd make him hum, "SexyBack", while tears stream down his face.  

* Jennifer Lopez- In terms of asses, also a no-brainer.  I would take a long, hard look at it, slap it until it was pink, and spit in the crack.  Marc Antony would be tied to a chair.  Blindfolded.  Wearing really painful nipple clamps.  Screeching while she's mewling.  Of course, I would give it to her slow and lovingly at first, and then I would remember what horrible fucking music she makes and make her take it, like the spoiled, over-hyped hack that she is.


Phew!  Does that sound like I need someone to hate-fuck?   Nah...




xoxo.

7 comments:

advochasty said...

Oh one more suggestion? Please Ms. V???

Do Simon Cowell over the judges desk while he gives Ellen head. Then make Ryan clean you up, kiss Kara (with tongue) and have him say, "This....is American Idol."

Actually, I kinda like Crystal this year.

Yardbird said...

Outstanding Ms. Veronica. Stamping out arrogance, one thrust at a time.

Rohm and Barry are next.

Mistress Veronica NYC said...

Advo-

I did leave out a lot of people, didn't I?

Ew. Simon Cowell. Ew. Maybe if I got him in a three-way with Mario Lopez and that Dick Clark wannabe, Ryan Seacrest.

greg said...

awww i wish i was a celebrity

Anonymous said...

Watch your spelling !!

Mistress Veronica NYC said...

Greg, you are cute.

greg said...

awww thanks Miss
you made my week!

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