Wednesday, October 15, 2008

NEW Sherlock Holmes Movie!!!




With Robert Downey Jr. as the irrepressible consulting-detective! But why does he look like a disheveled organ-grinder? Hopefully that picture is simply him dressing up as a bum to get in to Irene Adler's secret wedding!

Appearances aside, Jeremy Brett (first, above) will always be my favorite, but I think that Downey Jr. will be charming and rakish in his own unconventional way.

But- now that I think about it, I'm pretty torn about it. I mean, Guy Ritchie is directing it, Jude Law is playing Watson, and Rachel McAdams is Irene Adler?? (Obviously, they are planning some version of A Scandal In Bohemia.) Ritchie has said that they want to keep it as close to the "real" Sherlock Holmes as possible, while making audacious claims that it will be the "best". Hmmm... really? You really think it's going to be the best? For real? That is a tall order for someone who hasn't done anything of note since Snatch (eight years ago), and who's wife carries his balls in her Gucci purse. Or, rather, she used to- NOW where's he going to put them?

And Jude Law?? I guess I can kind of ignore his annoying smirk for long enough to believe him as Watson, provided he does a convincing job, and keeps in the goddamned background. He says his Watson is not going to be bumbling. Watson was never bumbling! Naive, perhaps, compared to Holmes, but never bumbling! Sheesh! Understand your muse, people!!

And Rachel McAdams as Irene Adler?? I am having a hard time picturing her as the international opera diva superstar/ criminal-minded adventuress who was the only woman to outsmart Holmes. I mean, Regina George from Mean Girls??? How is she going to outsmart him? By losing weight and hiding behind a gaslight? Gayle Hunnicutt as Irene Adler (above, the one with out the moustache) is the only one that matters- at the risk of sounding like an obnoxious fanboy. On top of that, McAdams is like 12 years old. Irene Adler is a woman of the world, someone who's lived a full life- and was probably around 30. I don't know how this is supposed to be believable. At all.

Well, regardless of whether it is a critical success or not, I will still fork over my hard-earned $10 dollars to endure the damned thing. I can even picture myself writhing in my seat, pointing at the screen ("Why did he change that??!" "Holmes never smoked a calabash pipe!" "Ritchie, you hack!"), throwing popcorn at Rachel McAdams, irritating the unsuspecting fools sitting around me.

I'm strangely excited but extremely apprehensive at the same time. It's an inexplicable feeling...

xoxo.

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