However, recently I had to turn down a session in which the crux of our interaction would be me telling him that he is worthless. Worthless in reality, worthless because he truly believes that he can never please a woman, worthless because he's never had a lasting relationship, and because he is a failure in his professional life. He has been playing for 25 years, and apparently, no one has EVER asked him why he needs this said/done to him.
I also turned it down because he had some weird notion that a woman could not be dominant unless she was a shrewd, unfeeling businesswoman (as is his former Domme, according to him). However, he seemed to have a bit of ambivalence about this, because she was "all about the money, and nothing else", so he wanted to find someone less like that. Hence, his appeal to me.
I came away from our little chat feeling very confused, and very sad. Shit, I even cried.
Is there some humiliation aspect that I'm simply not understanding? Or has BDSM actually reinforced the negative views this man has of himself? On the one hand, I tend to believe it has been detrimental, but on the other, also feel like he should have taken responsibility for his perceived shortcomings and gotten psychological help.
We left the meeting with each of us welcoming the other to keep in touch.
What does everyone think? I'm at a loss.