Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Shocking Truth About My First Time

Whenever someone asks me how I got into this business, the answer is inextricably linked to how I first did anything kinky at all.  What I sought out, where I went, who I played with, what actually transpired.  Until a week or so ago, I was under the impression that it happened because of some mysterious need I had of which I did not know the origin.  Perhaps a morbid fascination with darkness, secret societies, and underground cultures.  Perhaps a genetic predisposition.  My deeply thought-about (so I thought) answer has always been:  I am unsure, I just knew I was interested in spanking and I knew I wanted to do something weird, so I sought it out where ever I could. 

It's funny how your memory can be sparked by masturbating, as I was thinking about a woman lover I had the summer before I went to college.  We were high school buddies, but one day she decided that she wanted to attack me on the couch while watching some godawful movie about The Call of Cthulu.  I fantasize about this sometimes, because it was so powerful, and because it is rare for me to find a woman to whom I am attracted.  Usually the fantasy doesn't get past the point of making out, at which time I usually shoot my load.  However,  this time I followed the memory to it's end, and remembered that she attacked me in numerous ways which resemble ways that I currently attack men.

Her father was a preacher, and had abused her since she was very little.  As a result, she emancipated from her parents when she was 15, dropped out of high school (although she did extremely well), and slept on various couches of various men who she relied on in a "kindness of strangers" sort of way.  She was the first of us to smoke cigarettes, had a beat-up car which she probably drove too fast, worked as a stripper, and painted things she saw in her dreams.  She would show up mysteriously and disappear in the same way, like a rebellious pixie.  We went to the beach, read poetry aloud, danced, sang, shouted, drank too much soda, stayed up all night talking- all the things I suppose you do when you're a teenager.  Her life seemed to constantly be in crisis, but somehow she made everything magical.  I don't know how else to explain it, but I think you know what I mean.

This freedom of spirit of course extended into her sex life.  I remember her showing me the dildo which she made her boyfriend suck on and take in his ass (which I beheld with much fascination and disbelief).  She encouraged him to sleep with other men (which he grudgingly agreed to do, I think just to please her), and suggested to our group of friends that we have an orgy.  No one actually wanted to have an orgy, so her suggestions were met with blank stares and cunning subject changes.  Then we would talk behind her back about how outrageous the suggestion was, and how gross the actualization of it would be.  She then went on a campaign to get the boys in the group to have sex with one boy whose sexuality seemed ambiguous at the time (he's a flaming homosexual now), which was also met with much derision, yet trepidation that they would be seen as boorish if they refused.

The things she did to me, now that I look back, were fairly tame, and obviously the gropings of a teenager who does not quite know what she is doing, but she impressed me with a sense of the myriad possibilities within sexuality.  I hesitate to give this information away, as I feel the moment would lose part of it's power.  I still know her, but we have never spoken about what happened.

Anyway, I'm just glad I remembered.



greg said...

wow what a vivid and wonderful description of your friend
can i ask if you ever found out what happen to her?

advochasty said...

"I hesitate to give this information away, as I feel the moment would lose part of it's power. I still know her, but we have never spoken about what happened."

These last lines made the reminisence so sweetly powerful. Nice you remembered...and thanks for sharing.

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Wow! What a beautiful and amazing post!! Thanks so much for sharing this! :-)

My journey also started out when I was a teenager so I can relate. I think many of us first recognize the "kinky gene" in ourselves around that age. I was fortunate to find a very kinky girl who led me down the primrose path at a very tender age. God bless her soul! We actually went through with the orgy but it was extremely awkward and ended very quickly! :-p Other memories are much more fun. Being tied to a tree and whipped in the Maine woods... *Sigh!* Being tied to the living room chair stark naked and having her mom come home early... LOL!! It's so much fun strolling down memory lane! ;-)

hoodman said...

Wow what an intense relationship. i'm always fascinated by people who have real interactions before they dive into kink. Sadly i never had this.

But ah now i have fun with it.

Ron in Florida (Ronald10021) said...

What a great memory and story to share with us.


Mistress Veronica NYC said...


I am happy to say (again) that I still know her. Her life has improved dramatically and she is very happy now.


Thank you!


Early memories which prefigure your current erotic life can be so sweet. There is something wonderful about doing "naughty" things, when you genuinely think they are naughty.


AWWWWW... It's possible you had something similar, but simply do not remember. I did not remember this event until very recently.


Thank you.

Anonymous said...

What an extraordinarily interesting story. One thing I miss about the early days exploring kink is a sense of "spookiness" about it, for lack of a much better term.

The part about her teenage boy friend being pushed into receiving a dildo and pushed by her into sleeping with men brought a sense of that spookiness back.

It sounds like she went through some very painful times with her parents and growing up. I hope her life is happier.


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