Saturday, March 14, 2009

25 of my DIRTIEST secrets...

or else other information which might surprise (an answer to a post of the same name on MF):

1. I'm a peeping tom. I look in people's windows when I walk by.

2. Conversely, I am an exhibitionist and love to get changed in front of open windows, or else shower with a window open.

3. I have passed out on a sidewalk.

4. I have thrown someone down a flight of stairs (believe me, he deserved it, and was unscathed other than his ego).

5. I won the church hula hoop contest when I was 14.

6. All of my teenage crushes have turned out to be gay, therefore making me a fag hag by proxy. (And proud of it!)

7. I've fucked underneath the Irish Hunger Memorial Garden.

8. When walking around late at night, I look for open doors to apartment buildings, so I that I can climb onto the rooftop to check out the view.

9. I can hold my liquor better than you.

10. I once jerked my beau off beneath a table while chatting with friends at a restaurant.

11. I'm a certified herbalist.

12. My first foray into the scene was as a sub (gasp!), and was a guinea pig for a couple who collected antique doctor's equipment.

13. I have licked ass. If you had seen it, you wouldn't be able to help yourself either.

14. i was banned from the senior prom.

15. I listen to the radio constantly, although I often shut it off in a fit of frustration.

16. I snuck out of the house once to go to the Billy Joel/ Elton John "Flaming Piano's" concert. I'm not proud of it. My tastes have changed vastly since then.

17. I am bored with MF most of the time.

18. I used to have surreptitious make out sessions on my bed with a neighbor while my parents were at work when I was 13. He was 16.

19. I sold everything I owned when I was 25 to go to Europe.

20. I hate yuppies, but will take their money.

21. I've worked for Harvard University.

22. I ardently love Dirty Dancing, and will argue the progressiveness of it's themes and the subtleties of the dialogue until I'm blue in the face.

23. I think I am a terrific rapper, but that might be because no one else has ever heard me.

24. I own a pink butt plug.

25. I just joined Twitter, but am unsure whether that makes me a douche bag.


FYI- My handle is MstrssVeronica

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

What is MF?

Anonymous said...

Joining Twitter doesn't make you a douche bag. The people on twitter that seem that way were douche bags before.

mark said...

MF = Max Fisch

stoopidfresh said...

I'll take you up on #9...

Mistress Veronica NYC said...

oh, you're soooo going down.

Ronald10021 said...

#1 and #2 are hot. I like to watch too. And sometimes enjoy being watched.

#10 sounds very hot.

#12, #13 and #14 sound like an interesting story. (BTW, I would lick your ass any day).

#25 I am on twitter too (Ronald10021) but don't use it or understand it.

Marvingaye said...

Elton John's 70's stuff is great, he had all kinds of diverse influences going on in his music. Nothing to be embarrassed about for seeing him live.

Billy Joel, on the other hand, has rarely come up with anything the least bit original sounding, and he doesn't even do a good job of ripping people off.

Mistress Veronica NYC said...

MarvinGaye,

You know, I really like you, but I really have to disagree with you there. Elton John is insipidly annoying. But you're right, not as much as Billy Joel, who is not only unoriginal, but an out and out thief.

Another reason to hate Elton is that he wears an extremely unconvincing toupee. And that's all I need.

Marvingaye said...

haha, ok you got me there about the toupee...can't really defend that at all.

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